Being mildly obsessive, i find myself repeatedly diving head first into something...immersing myself completely. For the last while, this has been creating, crafting, writing. I think about the obsession constantly. I read everything I can get my hands on about the obsession. I talk to anyone that will listen about the obsession. I go over the obsession over and over in my head until...I am tired of it, don't need to complete it and move on.
I find it hard when in the midst of being enthralled with and working on something to split my attention to other things or people that may get into view. I can not tolerate being interrupted when I am knee deep. I act unreasonably in response to what is most of the time a very reasonable request for my attention. In the height of obsession, I can hardly peel myself away to carry out basic day to day tasks.
But the day to day tasks come knocking. The house sinks into grubbiness and no one has any underwear. My Diploma in Antenatal Education gets left on a shelf (I haven't even bought a book yet!). I forget to pay bills. Ellis is repeatedly left to his own devices (and sometimes that includes TV...more than I would really want him to watch). I forget to answer emails from friends. At the end of an obsessive period, i kind of look up and blink at the sun...like when you come out of a movie and back into real life...and the chaos is strewn all around me with a son and a husband needing me and my attention desperately. Sometimes its a lot easier to just dive back into something else, rather than face the reality that I live in.
Sometimes, I feel that my creativity takes away from my life, rather than enriching it. There area lot of peaks and troughs, rather than gentle undulation. The work/life/home/creating/writing/being/parenting balance is a hard one. And I just feel stuck. Unable to think of a solution, unable to break out. I am sure I'll get there, but for the moment, I need to take a peek outside and play with one small boy.
***as an aside, I am still trying to import my iWeb blogs into typepad. I have to do it manually and the function is stuck. Engineers are supposed to be looking at it. I am hoping they will be up by next week.***